Be Careful Making Wishes in the Dark

hungarian:

tumblr has desensitized me to humor like i used to laugh at a lot more things but now everything seems old & i feel like i’m 57 yrs old

(via potatoandotherwise)

(Source: , via deduction-to-seduction)

malcobb:

#a brain surgery without anesthesia would hurt less than this.

(Source: deeply-inside, via deduction-to-seduction)

bootipop:

When your hand is wet and you grab some ice and it does the thing

(via potatoandotherwise)

verysiriuspotterhead:

egberts:

hudlionunshod:

egberts:

warhammer-of-cillyhoo:

egberts:

egberts:

my mom finally bought a toaster

why did this get notes

we’re happy for you

its just a toaster

Actually it is more than just a toaster; it is a short story.
“Finally” denotes anticipation.
“My mom” is character development: you have a mom.
“Bought a toaster” is the clear resolution of the story.

It speaks volumes.

its just a toaster

Don’t say that

(via deduction-to-seduction)

theinsufferablefan:

broadway-aradia:

what if you had an oven that could make things cold instead of hot omg

(via deduction-to-seduction)

thecompanionsdoctor:

Whenever my friend says goodnight to me on Skype he sends me this gif

and I wanted to send it to him tonight so I went to Google “black man turning off lamp” but Google autofill changed it to “black man turning into jet” and I got this

Long story short it’s 1am and I’ve been laughing at this for approximately 20 years

(via deduction-to-seduction)